Here’s the story, exactly as it was told on my Facebook page:
Gather ’round, kids, Aunty Cate’s gonna tell a story.
Over the past few years I’ve dated a few guys, most of them have been long distance things, at least to start with. Messages get sent. Photos get exchanged. You kinda expect that what you’re sending is for the eyes of the person that you’re sending it to only but, if you’ve got an ounce of common sense, you know the Internet is a big place and people break up, not always on the best terms.
Throw into the mix rising popularity, some viral products and posts, and a flourishing following who seem increasingly hungry to get their hands on any information available. I’ve seen gossipy forum posts about me that range from “her kids all have different last names” to “she’s in a lesbian relationship with Eden Riley” – seriously, get a fucking life.
It’s basically the perfect storm, so – to be perfectly honest – I wasn’t really that surprised when I received the message today attempting to blackmail me in order to avoid the publishing of “several incriminating photos”. I’m not going to name anyone but I’m pretty fucking certain I know the source and I’m not going to give him the attention he so desperately craves.
After consultation with my nearest and dearest friends I’ve made the decision to do something I wouldn’t normally do. I’m going to publish them myself. Initially I was going to just put them on my old blog and allow every Tom, Dick & Harry to peruse them at will, but FUCK THAT.
After showing some of the pics to two of my closest female friends, they’ve suggested I actually “publish” them in book form.
… you fkn wot?
Here’s the thing. I’m forty-five fucking years old. Anyone who has met me in person will tell you I’m a good 20kg over weight, I’ve carried seven babies to term and nothing is where it should be anymore. I have stretch marks on my fucking stretch marks. But I also take a fucking hot as fuck selfie. I am a semi-sexy, sensual, middle-aged woman who owns the fuck out of her sexuality. I’ll be absolutely fucked if I’m going to let some angry little man who never even got his cock inside me take ANY of that away from me.
So I’m going to take those pics – every single half-suggestive, half-naked, half-horny photo that I can get my hands on – and I’m going to put them in a book. And I’m going to sell it and donate every single cent to the orphanage. My tits have fed seven children so far, if I can use them to feed some more then Game. Fucking. On.
Let this be notice that this is my year. I’ve #claimed it, Walking Dead style – and fuck ANY man who tries to get in my way.
These photos aren’t pornographic, they’re tasteful and seductive but semi-nude. If there’s enough interest I’ll arrange a way to pre-order. If there’s even more interest I’ll collaborate with an amazing friend and photographer to do a calendar as well.
So, thank you, gutless limp-dicked man for pushing me into a corner. If you’d hung around long enough you would have realised I’m not the sort of woman who does as she’s told.
NEVER fuck with a fucker.